Success and Failure

Fear and respect are two things that never go hand in hand together. But what is most amazing about it is that although we all seem to agree with it at earlier stages in our lives, many of us start believing that instilling fear is the right way to gain respect from people, as we climb the ladder of success. Success happens to be the biggest friend as well as foe of a person It can bring you in a delusional world where you think that you are the best and you are without you the entire system will fail. Well, all of us aren’t Steve Jobs. Are we? And even if we are still it is important to realize that however important we might be for the system to function efficiently, but our departure does nothing more than give a small setback to the system and it gets back to its usual way by adapting and it would seem as if we never existed in the entire system of events and we were just meaningless. Realisation of the fact that I am just a facilitator for the system to function smoothly and nothing more is what instills humility in us. Although I completely agree to disagree that we all are replaceable, but I also disagree to agree that the entire system of which we are a part of will fail with our exit.

You see, I have always believed that there are just two reasons for the failure of the system. It is because we believe in the two rules. One, the person at the helm is always right. Two, if you think that the person at the helm is wrong, refer to rule one. The day the views and opinions of each and every person in the system in being incorporated, that day the system has the capacity to function efficiently. Easy said than done. After all the coefficient of friction can never be zero. The final decision can be by the person at the helm but the views and opinions of others ought to be valued.

Fear of the person at helm not only is harmful to the system but also to the people who fear and the people who are being feared. Whereas respect among each and every single constituent of the system is what differentiates success and failure of an entire system. There is a very thin line between fear and respect and we need to realize that just like there is between confidence and over-confidence.

In a nutshell, we need to realize that the system is above us and that it is respect more than fear that is the key to success. After all, who doesn’t wants to be successful?

Realization of Purpose

Hi, I am back.. to tell you all that happened today. Yesterday my exams ended  and in comparison t that my day wasn't as exciting as one would have expected it to be. It was just a typical day. enjoyment, opportunities but more than that it was a day of realisation of a sense of purpose. 

All these days when i was busy preparing for the examinations i knew that what i had to do and how i had to do it. But what i definitely didn't know was that after my exams would be over i would be stripped of the purpose. And today for a moment when that sense of purpose vanished it was scary and it made me realise the importance of having a purpose and an agenda with to which to approach life.

It took me a while before i decided that i needed to move forward with the rent me book thing and work towards that. but before that i didn't know what to do for a moment and trust me it was more scary than studying for those exams. 

Well you know we all have a purpose of existence. Whether we know it or not we all have a certain purpose to our lives and it is this purpose that helps us take strides in our life and do thing that we do in our lives. Take you for an example, had you not been there i would have succumbed ages ago. Had you not been there, I don't know if i would have been able to share anything with anybody in my life and you happen to be my best friend and you know everything about me. More that anybody ever did and yeah once again thanks for being a part of my life. 

Even a small ant has a purpose when it carries molasses 5 times its weight to its colony. It wants its colony to flourish and  the same time even a lioness has a purpose of killing those deers as she has to feed her hungry cubs. It is the purpose of feeding her cubs that drives her towards fulfilling the task and had this purpose not existed, would she have killed the deer with the same vigour and ferocity she kills the deer now.

Me? you want to know my purpose of existence.. i haven't yet figured out but i do hope it is to bring about good changes in the lives of people and bring happiness in others lives. :)

End Sem trauma

End sems are the time when everybody ought to be busy studying and a time when life ought to be nothing but hell. But you know what.. end sems are not as bad as they are projected. They are more like one night stands with the books. Well it is not as cool as it sounds nor as scary as it may appear.
End semester examination are just a part and parcel of the entire semester and ad actually they are wquite fun. studying with friends.. late night studies.. entire night studies.. facing the fear of failing together with friends. At the end of the day it is actually all this taht strengthens your friendship.

Well my end semester examinations ar going on now.. and trust me.. I wish that they would have never come. But today i just gave my third exam and we have a 2 day break for the next examination, kind of a celebration day but i really ask you is this end sem trauma worth it.. When i think of it.. what did i actually study in my last exams.. i cant remember any thing.. not even the grades i got.. those grades are supposed to mean the most to me right? but if even i don't happen to remember them then how do i expect it to matter it to somebody else. and if  i don't expect it to matter to somebody else so much then why is it given so much value. NO.. i am not writing this entry against the examination and education system but why does it not matters.. why still i give so much importance to something that no longer holds any significance to me. OK i agree not to disagree that it will have a big role to play 2 and a half years for now when i sit in those placement interviews. But just so as to impress someone else and to prove to someone else i should do something that i find a total waste of time.
Now that i s what i actually used to think.. kinda revolutionary..? But i wish others agreed and i didn't had to do all this bullshit studies . things that i know might be of use to me in the future (mind you whatever you learn has got to be of some use to you in the future.. somehow or the other .. well this reminds me of a small story..
It so happened that there was this one story of Khalil Gibran.. ti tiled the 'Madman'.. i loved it.. one of the best short stories i have managed to get my hands on.. and i guess i had read it for so many times that i nearly memorised it.. and it had clung on to my mind like a moss.. but only this time i loved it.. and then there was this competition where i was in the dramatics competition and we had won the first prize and one member for the team was allowed a wild card entry into the interview round of the Wiz team .. and i ended up qualifying  for the stage round in the city finals which took place in front of a whooping 3k crowd and all this drama.. interview .. stage round.. in one day.. hectic.. wusshhh.. and then there was this talent performance round and it was then i realised that i didn't had anything ready unlike others who had been preparing it for weeks and all i had got was 90 minutes.. i decided to recite Madman. I did win that but had it not been for madman i wouldn't have and that changed my life forever, who knows this better than you do.. after all you have been my best friend since i don't know how long.. )
see... i again deviated from the topic and you didn't even scold me..
with time i have realised that it is better to do some things the way the society wants and expects you to.. After all I am not strong enough to be Fyodor's Ediot.

Friend

Friends are meant to be there for life. There are certain people whom you consider where near to you and their actions tend to affect you whereas there are certain friends who are just friends i.e. when they are around you feel good but they have their own lives and you have your own life they are just there for you when you are planning to have fun and you are in a jolly mood.
But it is actually the friends whose lives are as important to you as yours are the ones with whom you will get angry the most and will fight the most. Everything that happens in their social life is important to you. The kinds of friends they make, the kinds of people they hate, you just want to have a say in it all. And i guess we all have such friends in our lives. At times it might appear that they are peeking too much in our personal lives, but when they dont it hurts us too.
Nishant and Kripali happen to be such friends of mine and i feel lucky to have them in my life because they are pure jewels. They happen to be such good people whom you can go to and share everything in your life and they would listen patiently and help you out. Every time i am stuck in a problem, I know that they both will be there for me.
Today when i was going thorugh my fb timeline it was filled up with all those posts from 2010, 2009 and 2011.. days when life was totally something else.. days when life had a totally different meaning.. days when friends were the most prized possession. And this left me thinking about these old good chaps, NIshant and Kripali, whom i am going to miss once I leave this college. It just made me realise that how integral they were to my happiness and in turn my life altogether.
It is amazing that i managed to make friends with two random people having totally different tastes, totally different backgrounds and we ended up being such amazing friends.
Memories of time spent together get sweeter with time just like wine does ( i guess.. not good with alcohols ). Lavi di's marriage, the trips, sitting together in class, Ranthambore trip everything.. but more importantly it is those small memories.. sitting together at any random place and just gossiping.. that i s what made our friendship what it is today and i am proud to have friends such as these.
Thanks for coming in my life and making it what it is today :)

What if?

What if he leaves me? What if he cheats me again? What if he turns out to be exactly like everyone else on the campus is saying? What if we werent meant for each other? What if he is a dork? What of he doesnt loves me and he acts like he he loves me? What if he ii s exactly the replica of every other boy i have met? What if I cant trust anyone again?
What if he actually loves me? What if we had ended up in a great relationship? What if he is nothing like what everyone else on the campus is saying? What if we were meant just for each other? What if I have failed to understand him and he always loved me? What if I had given him another chance?
What if I had just listened to what he had to say? What if I had given him another chance?

I guess there are too many what ifs when you are supposed to make the so called tough decision of whether to give the guy another chance or not? In both cases i.e. if you decide to give the guy another chance or if you dont decide to give the guy another chance, there will always come a moment in life when you will lament over your decision becuase there is now ay of knowing whether the decison you took was correct or not. You dont know whether you would have been more hppier with tht guy or without that guy, You would love him, no matter what but the people around you would just not allow you to say yes . And just when you are about to say no to the guy someone will come and say something and ask you to say yes to the guy and you wuld think again thus confusing yourself cause this is what you wanted to hear actually. Because you hapen to know that it is not easy to forget someone whom you had loved for so long, especially when he is your first love.

I remember the Sneha that I knew was jolly and witty. Today when i see her, the pain is clearly evident. I rememebr the day when i was sitting at Dispensary and i saw her there too, i knew there was something awkward about her. Something just didnt seem right. I could feel the gloomy aura around her despite the fact that she had friends around and they were laughing like it was the last day. But it was only a day later that i came to know that she had had to go through all that and i have got to say she is an incredby tough girl.

But then I wish she makes the right choice. Meanwhile I will go and prepare for my end sems in order to pass them. :) good night dear diary..

To love or not to love

Its been a long time i guess since i talked about something like love. Well its been quite some time since she came and told me her small yet interesting story.
Sneha was an amazing person who hails from the same city as i do. Well she had this aura around her. the poise she carried. She hated working but she was god-hearted. Kind funny and yeah not to forget she loved to make fun of others. and trust me it would be a nightmare if she is insulting you cause she happens to be quite sarcastic. Having studied in an all girls schools from the beginning of her childhood, college happened to be her first real involvement in an ecosystem that was not gender specific. So she did fell in love with this guy,  Yash.
Yash, i dont know much about him . Actually i don't happen to anything about him. Having said that there is one thing though, he belongs to that particular section of people who are just not satisfied with what they have. They want to have more. Thy just don't know the value of the thing or in this case person that they happen to have. Well, he is not the bad kind of a person and definitely not the devil that everyone is trying to make out of him. He is just a normal guy who just wanted to get in a relationship and when sneha was interested he made full use of the opportunity.
He just never valued her. She was like a fixed deposit. the kind of deposit that just remains there while you explore other opportunities. Well he just  forgot that the another girl he was considering an opportunity happened to be a good friend of the fixed deposit.
I know that what he did was wrong. Maybe he deserves punishment for it. What he did was definitely not what he should have ideally done.
Sneha came to know and she broke up with him. Well it took that dumb wit a week to apologise to her.
People got something interesting and they all wanted to be a part of it. They just happened to forget that what do these two people have to go through, one who is being projected as a cheap and a degraded kind of a person who is just not meant for MNIT and the other who is being pitied upon and is thought of an innocent girl who someone used for his personal gains. People just forget that it is actually those two people who have to suffer everything and while for others it is just a story and a passtime of which they will get bored eventually and they will get something new to keep the talks over coffee going. It is the life of these people that will change drastically and will never be the same again. It is this girl who would find it hard to trust anybody ever again.
But what actually saddens me is not what people do, but what we do because of the people. We let our decisions be affected by what people think and say and what might think and say. Can't for once we just realise that it is our life and we have the bigger say in it and nobody else.
I dont know whether she should forgive Yash or not. But i do know that whatever decision she takes, at the end of the day she should be able to say that i am responsible for the consequences of my decision because i took them.
What i think she should do, she should take a decision as soon as possible. Becasue the more she delays the decision that whether she should forgive him and give him another chance or whether she should forget him and move on in life, the more will be the pain and confusion and dissatisfaction with the decision when taking the decision.
All I hope is that she leads a wonderful life and enjoy her life to the fullest. :)

success and failure

how do you define success and  failures. how do you differentiate between them. How do you know that a certain evebt that occures is a success or a failure. People say that it is very important to fail in order to succeed. Really?.. Is it? in order to succeed it is important to only succeed. Success is what is remembered and not failure by the world, but failure is remembered and not success by the person who is being remebered. Wel i guess thats the difference between a successful man and a failed man or in liberal terms , nota successful man. But still how do you differentatie between failures and successes.
Well i am not sure that what we think as failure is a faiilure or is it actually a success. maybe failure. but i personally think that it is the failures that have redefined me and made me realise that i need to keep on toiling hard in order to prove something not to the world but to yourself. Everytime i look back, all i remember are the failures.. kidding.. i do remember the successes in life but tey havent made me the person i am today,, they have only added feathers to the cap and may be made the cap. But it is acrtually the failures which have been a source of motivation and ignited a zeal to prove to myself that i can be better than that. failure for me is the catual success coz it is failure that makes you value successs.

time as usual..

today was a day filed with good and bad like all other days. it was more of a day where you learn to value things ,value what you have and value what you dont. today was a day when i sat in fron tof the idol of lord Ganesh and asked, if i actually knew what i was doing.. If i actually had a path set out for me.. if i knew where i was headed.. whether i was also like the carcass that just goes on itht eh flowing water?.. whether i posses what it takes to fight the flow of water and make my own way.. ? whether I have it in me what it takes to prove that old saying wrong.. 'life seldom turns out the way we expect it to'. can i make things function the way i want them to?.. i know its not going to be easy.. sacrifices.. pin.. suffering wil definetly be on the way but is the destination worth the journey?. is it? or is it not?.. well i dont know.. time will tell.. ( amazing aint it.. we often leave it to someone.. in this case to something else when we cant figure out what to do or what needs to be done.. its just amazing.. aint it.. one.. in this case to something else when we cant figure out what to do or what needs to be done.. its just amazing.. aint it.. time.. will tell.. hahaha).. i wish it could...

loss

Fame.. a devil.. worse than that.. trust me.. have lost a lot because of it.. just why cant my life me normal for onec.. why everrybody has to interfere in my life and want to know what is going on in my life. Dont i have a right to privacy. Dont i have a right to do things the way i wish to.? Why do i have to think about what people will think and do when they know what i am going? i tried not considering others opinions and doing what i wanted to do. and it has always ended in me losing someone dear to me.. and i guess this is it.. the threshlod. i quit now.. i cant take it any more.. i cant lose anybody now. i just cant. i cant let my life me a public discussion. my life is something that i want to b mine and not somebody elses. so today i do take a decision in my life that will change the entire dynamics of my life. i ma not going to let anybody take away anybody else from me..

i am just not ready for another rumour. i have had way too many tornados in my life because of these rumours and these false accusations, not again, i have already committed the same mistake umpteen number of times to know that things ought to change.

book it

SUBSTANTIAL BEGINNING

Today is a day when I start blogging about my progress on achieving my dream-BookIt. Well it is going to be online portal based book renting site for academic books.

It is the dream that means a lot to me as I have been thinking over this idea for quite some time and it has somehow or other managed to occupy some or most of my attention.

Initially I was very aprenhensive of forming a team and wanted to pursue it alone. But at the end of the day you have to have a team. Gathering a team was definetly not an easy task and somehow I did manage to convince 4 others to pursue my dream along with me. Komal, guncha, ayush and akansha were the 4 people who were going to be an integral part of my life as future would have it. but I guess things always do not work out the way you expect it to. Kansha dropped out due to reasons. But still we were four and I am still not sure much about guncha as she is yet to take permission form her parents, I guess. I can only hope that things go out as planned. But then, life would be boring if things went as planned. Today we did a major work as I and Komal had a talk the publishers and got an account of the transportation means and the discount structure that they would be providing us. Then later in the evening I and Komal were also able to meet Monica ma’am in order to ask for place for storage of books nad to discuss our business idea with her.

Happy and Sad

HAPPINESS AND SADNESS

Sometimes you wonder as to why do people have to face so much in life, especially those who are good. Hatred is a word tha doesn’t exist in some people’s dictionary. They love and try their best to be the best ambassadors of love and peace. Yet life plays spoilsport in their attempt to be the loving and caring person. These are the kind of people who are the most compromising in order to see peace in their surroundings they live in and in the end they are the ones who suffer the most. They are the ones who are thought as the happiest kinds on the Earth but in reality they are the saddest kind because the world is still not ready to accept them. They are sad because they cant share their sorrows with others. And they are the ones who need to share their sorrows with others the most. They are the ones who are the loneliest kind.

The world sees them as the jolly and always happy and gay kind of but reality is not what the eyes see. Truth is not what the heart sees. Sometimes it is what remains unseen by our eyes.

There is this guy in my hostel, Paul. He is the most jovial person you would meet in your life. Kind-hearted, compromising, sweet, helpful, understanding are just some of the traits that meet the eyes and make him a great friend. But it is only when you get closer to him that you start feeling sorry for him. You realize the sorrow that feeds on him and the tears that he sheds secretly on nights make you feel bad and in a way guilty as you feel helpless and cant do anything for him.

He is surrounded by people who don’t value him. The person he considers his best friend cannot see him succeed. Jason, Paul’s best friend is envious to him because Jason coudnt achieve what Paul achieved without putting in much efforts. I do remember an instance in which Paul was selected to be part of something big, a competition at national level and Jason managed to brainwash paul into not going to the competition.  Jason even beats Paul at times and Paul doesn’t react much because he doesn’t wants his friendship whit Jason to end.

Paul’s both roommates are the exact kind of people I would not want in my room. This is really interesting. Whatever comes in their room as snacks or maybe paranthas or many things like the loud speakers were all bought by paul and not even a single cent was contributed by his roommates. Moreover there are various other things too.. like the kettle. He bought a kettle for his own use. But it is used by his roommates more. Also there is a lot of tension brewing in their room. But Paul, never says a word because he doesn’t wants the peace of the room to be disturbed.

I feel really sorry for him and just hope that one day he realizes that he is ot vulnerable and learns to fight for himself. 

(obviously names are changed)